Mind is a Cage

I haven't been back to this place since the day I sat beside her and watched my close friend fall apart at the seams. Visiting was hard. It was difficult enough before the hospitalization to remain by her side and watch her mind tear itself into small confetti size pieces that blew further and further …

The Gift That Was Michael

No one could replace him. They did try. And I tried to let them. It's always kinda sad how the rest of the band is left behind after the departure of their front-man. However much it stung, I wanted these beloved Aussie musicians to continue to have successful careers. We all tried to move on …

On Growth and Ice Cream.

So much change. A veritable change sundae loaded with multiple flavors of anxiety ice cream. Sprinkled generously with crunchy bits of self doubt and flakes of feather-light hopes, dreams and wishes. I'm a fan of ice cream sundaes. Change, not so much. Are any of us really? And yet, it is necessary. Stagnation lives right …

I am Afraid of The End

It happens every time. I am writing up a storm. I have a big idea and it has seized my brain, occupying all the space until there is barely enough room to move. Crowded in by my raucous thoughts and the bright lightbulbs they spark to life. Hundreds of words. Thousands of words! And then …

Dwell in Gratitude

We call it a re-birthday. Yes, it's often celebrated with cake and revelry. But more so with gratitude. Immense gratitude. I can't imagine my life without him. And yet, it almost happened. My brother added to the list of bright shining lights subtracted from the world by the big, bad C. It's a tale I …

Universal Forces at Play

He is watching me. We play a game of eye contact tag. “Hello, I’m not watching you. You’re not staring either right?” It's not an uncommon bus occurrence. This dance. The interested uninterested. Yes. No. Maybe. When he gets off and runs out into the rain, I breath a sigh. Relief? Disappointment? Both. It's just …

I Will Never Know Him

He has been on my mind a lot lately. I wish I could say it was random. But there has been very little in my life happening without intention these days. Or even a touch of prophecy. Presentience. When I first heard the news, it seemed like I had wished into being in a way. …

Well, There Goes the World (Where Were You?)

​ So, here we are again. That day. Few of us who were alive then can forget where we were at that moment. I remember going out early, into a shiny, bright blue world filled with sunshine so vigorous it dazzled off every reflective surface. I had an appointment at my surgeon's office for a …

I Look too Much Like Her for Him to Like Me: Part One.

Most of the time my father and I have spent together has been in dreams. After watching him suddenly exit stage left at age five, my subconscious was the only place in which he was a standard fixture. I grew up haunted by places half-seen; recollections that may or may not exist.  ​ Memories before …

May the Fourth be with You.

Well, actually it was the fifth of May not the fourth, but I figured there was little Jedi power left in the air to draw strength from. I definitely used that phrase to center myself as I stood poised on the edge of the biggest decision of my professional life. When I went into work …